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Rachel shows effort, resilience, and celebration within the outcomes of her arduous work. She provides the admissions committee extra insight into her interests (Greek language, figure skating, and conservation) past simply what was provided in her transcript or actions list. From this essay, we learn about her willingness to work hard and persevere in various endeavors, as well as her ability to plan ahead and information a gaggle toward a typical purpose—traits that can turn out to be useful in college.

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Hi Sherwyn, and thanks for your question. There are quite a lot of other ways to attain well in the TOEFL Talking and Writing part. I usually advocate sticking to at least one side of an argument as a result of it’s easier to prepare and construction. Usually, students example of high school essay get lost and fail to focus on the question when they consider a number of viewpoints of an argument, which is why I recommend sticking to at least one side. However, for those who really feel comfortable showing each side of an argument, go for it. Good luck tomorrow, and make sure to let me know how it went.

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